Naive

In less than a month our first IVF cycle will be over. More than once recently, I have caught myself harboring unrealistic expectations. I know that IVF doesn't always work the first, or second, or third time. And yet, I still believe that it will work for us this time: I'll be pregnant -- with twins! -- a month from now! Last Chance IVF's description of her first cycle sounded so familiar:

IVF #1: Oh how naive and stupid I was! I really thought all you had to do was IVF and you'd be pregnant. I resented doing IVF but I still embraced it. At ER we had 11 eggs. When my RE called to tell me that only 6 were mature I was disappointed; but 5 fertilized. When we went to transfer and we only had two that were even on-target we figured: oh well, none to freeze but what can you do? We've got two! We'll probably get twins.

But it didn't work for LC or for so many others in bloggyland and IRL. So I have to figure out how to stay calm and positive while not setting myself up for devastating disappointment.

If you're keeping track: last night was my last birth control pill. Hopefully my skin will clear up now! And it was my third night of Loopyron shots. No irrational rages yet, but I'm on pins and needles waiting for the next headache (even more than bcps, Lupr0n is associated with migraines). I've got an appointment with the GP on Friday to get an Rx for migraine meds. I haven't refilled in a very long time, because each month, I've been just about to get pregnant (see above re: naivete) and I can't take the meds while preggo. But I've got several weeks of the Loop to go before I'm housing any embryos. I'll take the meds; I'm keeping my fingers crossed I can make it until Friday.