Zack at 17 months: Updated with even more!

I have done a terrible job of documenting Zack's babyhood.  So I thought I'd record his milestones while I still remember them and record where he is now.

• After trying for months, he finally crawled in January at 8.5 months.  
• He walked independently in July, around 15 months.  Now he runs everywhere.  We're working on holding hands in public; he prefers to be independent.
• He says "cheese," "please," something that sounds like "yes, please," "hi," "uh oh," and "eyes."  "Ay, yi, yi" with a wagging pointer finger means, "I'm hungry.  Feed me now."
• He signs "more," "please," and "all done."
• He started being interested in books early this summer, especially "reference manuals" -- the Priddy and DK books of big colorful pictures and labels.  In the last week or so, he's started to be able to point out the right objects when asked: "Where's the goat?" "Where's the tractor?"
• He loves to look at pictures of vehicles, food, and animals.  Tractors are especially popular.  He says something unintelligible that means, "What is this?" when he points to the pictures.
• His favorite foods are cheese and bananas.  He's a great eater at breakfast and lunch.  Dinner is iffy (especially meat) -- he's tired and sometimes full from all his daytime eating.  
• Although he eats dairy in other forms, he refuses cow's milk.
• He makes a generic animal sound ("grrrrr") for the dog and other animals, but he also knows the dog says, "woof, woof"; sheep/lambs say, "ba ba"; and owls say, "who, who."  He growls when he hears dogs in the neighborhood, and even when he passes pictures of dogs while we're in the car!
• He loves airplanes and stops whatever he is doing when he hears them.  Trains go "choo, choo," which sounds more like "too, too."
• He knows that bunny rabbits go "hop, hop."
• He waves both hi and bye.
• He loves daycare (mostly because of second breakfast) but hates church nursery and babysitters.  
• He's survived his broken arm at birth and two surgeries.  Since his ear tube surgery in January, he's been an entirely different -- and healthier -- kid.
• After refusing to breastfeed for two months, once he finally started, he never showed any interest in weaning.  He switched to daytime formula after the ear tube surgery but continued to nurse morning and night until July.  We only stopped because I couldn't handle the breastfeeding and the pregnancy exhaustion/queasies at the same time.  He still gets rocked to sleep.  (I know, he's spoiled.)
• He naps for 3+ hours on Saturday, recovering from all the fun of daycare.  We often join him.
• He has been to Disneyland twice (in January and May), and went to the beach in August.  He had no fear of the ocean.
• I've lost count of his airplane trips.  This summer alone, he went to Boston, Orange County/Palm Springs, Seattle, and San Diego!
• He loves bathtime and would stay in the cold water for hours if we let him.  Every night, he reads about how Elmo and his friends get clean.
• Most nights, Daddy does bath, and Mama does night-night.  
• After months of calling him "Baby-No-Sleep," he suddenly started sleeping through the night.  I don't remember when!  Maybe it was related to the ear tube surgery?  We also did a little cry-it-out.  He's had a bit of a regression the last few weeks; I wonder if his molars are starting to come in.  But in general, he's a pretty good sleeper.  He goes down between 7 and 8, and gets up between 6 and 8. 
• He's super chatty with us.  And his teachers say he talks at school.  But he's often silent as a church mouse with other people.  Sometimes he won't even crack a smile.
• He loves to laugh, to make us laugh, and to laugh at/with us.
• He has a song in his heart -- we often catch him singing a little tune of unintelligible words.

Low risk

We knew things looked good based on the last ultrasound, but we got reassuring blood work today.  Our risk of Down Syndrome is 1 in 3500, even better than with Zack (1 in 800).  And our chance of the other trisomies is 1 in 2400.  At my age, the normal risk would be 1 in 227 and 1 in 127, so this is thoroughly great news.  I go in for some additional blood work in two weeks, and we'll get those results about the time of the big anatomy ultrasound on Oct. 11.  But so far, things continue to look great!

14 weeks: The healing

Today marks the second trimester!  I already feel like I've been pregnant forever; I hope the next 24-25 weeks go more quickly.  Now that we're back and busy with schoolwork, I suspect they will.

When Zack first arrived, I was still scarred by the infertility, and his traumatic delivery and refusal to breastfeed made it worse.  I felt like my body kept failing.  The OB who delivered Zack said it would be better "next time," because we'd schedule a c-section.  I didn't want a next time -- I wanted a hysterectomy.  The pediatrician said I could, "breastfeed his sister."  I couldn't imagine a sister -- what were the odds, given how hard it was to get Zack????

But now ... it looks like there will be a next time.  I am sure there are other ways to find healing.  Most infertility veterans are not the urban legends who miraculously become pregnant after treatment.  But for me, the dark times are suddenly very far away.  I thought I would carry these visible scars forever.  But right now, the only visible scar is from the c-section, and that one is pretty ordinary.

Baybee

Ultrasound today at 12w5d; all is well.  Except for the number of times the doctor said, "Given your age...." 

Circus tents and muumuus

It's really too bad elastic waistbands and blousy tops aren't (ever, really) in style.  These maternity clothes are soooo comfy.  The nausea has lessened considerably (I'm 11 weeks, 5 days), my skin is no longer completely broken out, and now I can just enjoy being roly-poly.

Wild Horses

I just found that galloping heartbeat on my home doppler for the first time! So exciting -- and a relief since it took a while. Still sick -- and so sick of being sick. I'm ready for this part to end. And I know Brent and Zack are ready to have me back. Soon, I hope!

And we're back...

With an unexpected surprise: I am 9 weeks, 5 days pregnant! 

We are overjoyed, and overwhelmed.  Z is nearly 16 months, a tornado of energy, immensely fun and frustrating all at the same time.  Although I don't know where we will summon the energy, it was important to us for Z to have a sibling.  As a friend said to me today, siblings are with you longer than anyone else, longer than parents, longer than spouses.  Z needs that person in his life.  And so we decided to start trying, figuring we'd try on our own, maybe with some drugs, before deciding whether to seek more help from the wizard or consider adoption.

And before I could even take the first dose of Clomid, a positive pregnancy test!  Having never seen one of those without medical help, we're still in a bit of shock.  I didn't even have any pregnancy tests at home, unlike those early days of trying when I was well stocked, sure that this month would be the month.  On a hunch, I sent B out to buy the cheapest ones he could find.  When that second line appeared, I was convinced that it was a false positive.  So I took the other two in the package.  And then I went out and bought a more expensive one.  Four tests later, I called the doctor to get a blood test.  The blood work came back great, better than any of the previous three pregnancies, including the one that brought us Z. 

Then we waited.  We were out of town, so the ultrasound was much delayed.  But on Saturday -- and again yesterday -- we saw a healthy, squirmy baby with hands and feet and a strong heartbeat.  Wow. 

I felt a bit sheepish at the OB yesterday.  She had clearly reviewed our file and knew Z was an IVF baby.  Her first question was whether this pregnancy was a surprise.  "No.  We were trying."  Then she asked how long.  "Ummm ... basically the first try."  And then I proceeded to stick my foot in my mouth by replying that we wanted that first trimester screening for Down Syndrome because "I'm too old not to."  Yeah, she's the same age and apparently single.  Ooops.  But we liked her and think it'll be a good relationship the next seven months.

One cool moment -- the nurse asked me why I wasn't seeing the midwife again.  I replied that I'd had a c-section with Z.  She said, "Are you sure you don't want to try a VBAC?"  Uh, no, given how scary Z's delivery was.  But I loved that she asked -- a major teaching hospital in a major city actually asking if I wanted to try a VBAC!  Good on them!

This pregnancy already feels so different.  I was anxious every minute of every day of the 38 weeks and 6 days with Z.  But I'm so much calmer this time around.  I wouldn't say I'm confident; I know all too well what can go wrong, and I continue to read devastating news on blogs every day.  But the anxiety is down to more normal levels, which is so nice.  I'm also much queasier, and it started much earlier.  And I'm already in maternity pants!  There will be no keeping this a secret for long!  I "came out" at work today, as we already have to start planning for the spring term.

Z is nearly running everywhere.  He is so close to talking, we can all taste it.  He has several useful signs ("More, please!!!! is common), so communicating is getting easier, although we can't always tell what he wants "more" of.  He loves books and climbing and being outside.  He loves to play ball.  He's a great eater and, usually, a sleeper.  He knows what the rules are ("stay here," "no touch"), and defies them with a maniacal laugh (that's the frustrating part!).  He plays peekaboo and loves to tease.  He regularly stops his frenetic play for a hug.  He basically thinks that every moment of every day is the greatest ever.   We must be doing something right.